Deviled Eggs and Ham
by Sage SK
Summary: Surely one of his brothers could act like a civilized being... couldn't they?


Title: Deviled Eggs and Ham

Author: Sage SK

Date Started: 10/14/12

Date Finished: 10/14/12

Rating: K

Warnings: None

Poking a little fun at Mephisto and his frightening obsession with... well, let's face it. It's frightening. Co-authored by Kristen Sharpe.

* * *

Younger siblings. Mephisto Pheles was sure that was another term for "headache", or even "migraine". He'd decided that his Gehenna brethren weren't worth the invitation to Assiah. After all, some of his most precious possessions had suffered horrible, horrible fates with Amaimon, who was currently serving his sentence in the hamster cage on his desk. So, he hoped that maybe, just maybe, he could arrange to be blessed with at least _one_ sibling who didn't act like the others. But, as he heard his old friend Shiro Fujimoto say, God had a sense of humor.

Mephisto decided to try anyway, sending out a charming invitation to Yukio Okumura. And, Mephisto was looking forward to this reunion when, much to his surprise and chagrin, his invitee arrived with his twin brother in tow. Rin Okumura didn't appear bothered to be dragged along. Regardless, Mephisto had to prepare himself for the possible upcoming fight when he announced his intentions.

So, while Rin poked around the office curiously, Yukio held up the pink envelope he received earlier. "Sir Pheles, what is this about?"

Mephisto wasted no time. "Okumura-sensei! I am adopting you as my younger brother!"

There. He asked nicely, complete with balloons and confetti. Well, "nicely" would have been pushing it. It was more of a demand, really. Because he was going to have _one_ civilized sibling, and Yukio fit the bill perfectly, unlike loud and rambunctious Rin.

"Pass," Yukio retorted, the dry look never leaving his face as confetti showered around him.

"Seeing as I'm your guardian, it's already been done."

"Actually," Yukio said, "I took the liberty of having myself declared an emancipated minor last year. And, Nii-san is _my_ legal ward. Father approved it before his passing."

"Touché ." Mephisto had to go for more desperate measures. "Are you sure you won't reconsider?!" he whined.

"Look at it this way. You get me, you get Nii-san, too."

"Oi, Yukio." Several feet away from them, Rin spoke up. "Do you have any superglue?"

A moe doll, one of the rarest of Mephisto's collection, was now in two pieces in Rin's hands. And, Rin stood there innocently, as though he wasn't aware of what he was holding. At least, that was probably what Rin wanted the viewer to believe; Mephisto was sure of it. But, the elder demon king was too shocked to even scream while Yukio went to examine the damage.

"It startled me!" Rin cried. "The eyes are so big and... you know, it might need exorcising."

"I don't think I do, Nii-san. Besides, it's only a little piece that fell off." Nevermind that 'a little piece' was the doll's entire head.

"...Little?" Rin asked cautiously, expecting his younger brother to chew him out. Then again, maybe Yukio hated moe.

"Only a little," Yukio returned, 'accidentally' smacking Rin's hand and letting the rest of the doll's head finish breaking on the floor. "Oh. I see it now."

Regaining his composure, Mephisto managed, "Quite frankly, it's obvious you already belong in this family." He then turned to Rin. "Rin-kun, I want you to know that your brother is a much worse demon than you will ever be."

Rin snorted. "Pff. Tell me something I don't know. I've sworn I could see horns for years."

"Keeping errant brothers in line is not demonic," said Yukio, casually adjusting his glasses.

"You use slippers!" Rin shouted, arms out as he knocked over yet another doll and sent the rest that were aligned next to it down like a stack of dominoes.

Eye twitching spastically, Mephisto glared at Yukio. "I will double your salary if you please take this walking disaster elsewhere."

Yukio smiled lightly. "I'm quite content with my present salary, thank you. I'd rather not see Amaimon or Azazel or Egyn or Beelzebub or... Well, you get the idea, bothering Nii-san or any of my students."

"Fine!" Mephisto shouted. "Just...!"

"Oi, Yukio!" Rin interrupted, holding up a whole moe doll in his hands. "This one survived!" Then, his eyes bugged out as it was shot cleanly out of his hands.

"Deal," said Yukio, holding a smoking gun to a side while he continued speaking to Mephisto.

For his part, Mephisto could only hold back from murdering either of the twins. It wouldn't do any good, and they were essential to his plans. Instead, he managed a drawn out, "I hate you."

"Wise." Yukio pushed Rin to the door. "Come on, Nii-san. I'm buying the ingredients for sukiyaki tonight."

With a loud cheer, Rin threw up his hands, a rare vase meeting its fate on the floor as they walked out.

Looking over his shoulder at a fuming Mephisto, Yukio gave the elder demon king a bright smile. "I recommend plastics."

Teeth grinding, Mephisto sat at his desk, looking for an aspirin as he surveyed the damage. He had been wrong. _None_ of his brothers could behave like civilized beings. It was clear that the Okumura twins were in on the joke. And, as far as he was concerned, somewhere up there Shiro was laughing hysterically.

* * *

END


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